My Story: How the King Of Kings Beckoned Me
So a follower asked for my story, my story of Jesus leading my heart and ultimately me to Him. So here it goes:
The Beginning
I grew up in a Christian home, so serving God and doing good things was never unfamiliar to me, that is till I got to school. I went to a public school starting at preschool, so I heard every dirty word out there since I was in about the 3rd grade. The world soon became just part of my life as a kid, not that I joined in the worldly activities, yet I desired to have the effects of them, to be “included” to some degree. I went to church though and for a long time there was a division within my own self, a division in the desire to chase after God and also the desire to chase after this world. This division played out in many areas of my life, from friends, to family, and to my desire to go to church. Unfortunately for most of my kid years to early teenage years the desire to chase the world was dominate.
However, during this time(later childhood years, probably around the time I was 8) I realized the gravity of my sin, yes, even as an 8 year old I realized there was something terribly wrong with myself. By my dad’s guidance in his room every other night for a couple of weeks I realized I could never do enough on my own, I realized even with my young mind I needed a savior and not just any savior, a savior who made the perfect sacrifice to save me from myself. I repented of my sins and asked Jesus into my heart. I was indeed saved. (John 3:3”I tell you the truth, no one can see the Kingdom of God unless he is born again.”) I believed that wholeheartedly too, I remember that feeling very well. And there were also serious spikes of spiritual growth following this time, usually at Youth retreats and certain events, but this growth didn’t last too long usually. I would end up getting into the mundane school routine and the Sunday high.
The Call Back To Him
Thankfully God eventually got a hold of me at Snow Camp my church always went to and I realized I needed to totally refocus my life for Him and stop going through the motions. This was when I was in my sophomore year of high school when I was 14. Even though it was a slow and grueling process,(a process that still continues for sure this day!) God, with His great power and mercy, really strengthened and pulled me closer to him over the next couple of years. He used many trials, some immensely difficult, to build my endurance and relationship with Him. For that, I am eternally grateful to the Almighty God, even with all the trials I have faced and still face today.
The One Storm That Almost Destroyed Me Completely
One trial was by far the worst storm I have ever faced to this day, and without Jesus as my rock, I wouldn’t have gotten through it, not by a long shot. It would have eventually caused my own self destruction. Around 4 years ago (from now in January 2012) my parents broke the news to my sisters and I that they were getting a divorce, this was a deep blow. Here I am as a 15 year old teenager thinking my parents were happily together (as the kids usually do) then I hear this. The next months are spent by me trying to get used to this idea of my parents not being together anymore, my dad moved out into a house about 15 minutes away, and my sisters and I began the whole thing of living at both houses, switching it up according to the agreement and whatnot. As more months passed I started to finally start to grasp this concept and accept it even though I despised it. I promised myself I would never be the one in my future family to do this to the rest of the family. Even though there was drama and whatnot with whom my parents started to see, things started looking up and it looked like the storm had past.
Sadly I was gravely mistaken; the worst was yet to come 6 months later. There was some talk about my dad’s new girlfriend’s ex-husband that he was unstable (and he was ex-army of all things). This remotely worried my mom, my sisters, myself and family friends, but I was unaware just how unstable or dangerous he was. Without going into a lot of detail, this unstable man came to my dad’s girlfriend’s house one night while my dad was there. A firefight ensued, but since my dad lacked military training, this guy had the advantage and ended up shooting my dad, his ex-wife and then turned the gun on himself. And if my 2 younger sisters and I were there, this guy would have probably killed us too.
I was devastated, my sisters were devastated, and my whole family was devastated. There were many tears shed during this time, too numerous to count. My dad, my superman, the invincible man I knew my entire life, who taught me so much, was gone in a second. I felt so alone, but then Jesus stepped in, exactly when I needed it most, and carried me through the worst storm of my life. It was Him who gave me His strength when I had absolutely NONE left, so I could be strong for my mom and my sisters especially. My family and my church family also helped greatly too, they all were so loving. It took many months, even stretching to years but God healed me. I even still feel the effects of this storm today sometimes. Bottom line is, without Jesus as my rock I would have crumbled right into the raging sea. Psalm 30:1-3”I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you have brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down to the pit.”
College
On a more recent note starting in 2010 I started attending college. This was a completely new experience for me as I started off knowing no one since it was a smaller school 2 and a half hours away. It was definitely an interesting experience. It was the first time I was not surrounded by great Christian friends and around my church. I was thrown into the world so to speak and unfortunately my walk with God initially suffered with me giving in to the temptation of fitting in. However, a month or 2 later it soon became very clear to me that there was a problem with myself. God called me yet again back to Him. I stopped, for the most part, activities that were angled to fitting in and not God honoring in the slightest. I got connected with a local bible study. Since then my college career has been a struggle at times from the distance from my great friends and family at home, and the magnitude of ungodly stuff at my school, but I am now stronger and able to face the challenge of still living life for the Lord. Also recently in the fall of 2011 I started regularly attending a great church on campus.
Now onto the future
As I look to the future I am excited, because the Almighty God is with me and within me. From that night I gave my heart to the Lord in my dad’s room when I was 8 till today Jesus has walked right next to me no matter where I went and he will continue to do so all the days of my life; which is something no one can take away from me. His mercies are new every morning. I cannot wait for His plan to be carried out in my life!
Psalm 139:8-10”If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast.”
